Exactly How Did Your Boyfriend Break Up With You?
Your future together will always be influenced by the past. To help in getting your boyfriend back, you'll need to analyze how and why the break up happened... and what kind of impact it has on your attempts to reconcile.
There are many types of breakups, and each one needs to be handled slightly differently. Some are more serious than others. Yet no matter what the case, each time a guy ends his relationship with you he's looking for an end result. He might be seeking anything from a permanent separation to a short 'break' from the romance, but no matter what he's looking for, you need to know how to handle it.
How your man breaks things off can say a lot about his intentions as well. His words, actions, and body language will give away his position. Also important: how he treats you immediately after announcing the news. A colder and more uncaring boyfriend might walk away, but one who still has feelings for you will stick around to make sure you're alright. At the same time however, sticking around too long can cause things to get very awkward... which is why many guys will walk away while you still have things to say to them.
What To Do When Your Relationship Ends In a Fight
A good many breakups happen over a fight. This might be due to a long string of endless fighting, or maybe just one big blowup. In either case, there are a good many passionate feelings being tossed around as the two of you carry on your argument. Couples who are fighting tend to act rashly and without thinking, and often things get said that neither of you really mean.
If your relationship ended during a fight, it's actually good news. Although your conflict probably wasn't constructive, it means there was something between you that was at least worth fighting for. In short, he still cares about you. The presence of feelings this strong is a good indication that your ex can't just walk away.
When a guy breaks up with you and no longer cares? He's not going to fight you at all. He's going to move in the opposite direction and dismiss you with a wave of his hand. At this point he's lost most of the emotional attachment that would keep him there in the first place.
Bad fights can be passionate. It's hard not to blow up and say things that can cause damage to your future relationship... especially if your boyfriend initiated such remarks. Whenever a fight starts deteriorating into verbal insults or personal attacks, it always damages the future of your relationship. It makes getting your boyfriend back much harder, which is why you should try to avoid making such remarks - even if he initiates (or deserves) them.
Recovering a relationship plagued by fighting can be an uphill struggle. You need to learn fast techniques that will break through the barriers of stubbornness and bitterness that you feel toward each other. You'll have to do this soon, before you erode away the last remnants of the mutual respect you both have for one another.
If you're fighting a lot, check out this simple 4-Step Strategy that can help save your relationship and reverse the process of your breakup, no matter what stage you might currently be at.
What Does It Mean When Your Boyfriend Wants Space?
Whenever your man starts asking for his 'space', or time to think, or any sort of situation that requires you to go away for a while, it's generally an indication that he's unhappy about something within the relationship.
In most cases, he's looking to escape your romance in the most non-confrontational and seamless way possible. "I need space" is just an excuse... what your boyfriend is trying to do is slip away without the drama of a conventional break up.
Sometimes, it's even a little worse than that. Your boyfriend could have another girl in mind, or may already be dating her on the side. I'm not saying this is definitely the case, but it's certainly something to consider. Whenever a guy asks you for time alone, it could be because he's spending that time with someone else. Always be sure to look for the signs your boyfriend is cheating.
That being said, there's actually some light at the end of the tunnel. The fact that your boyfriend didn't break up with you is a pretty telling indicator that he's not yet ready to let go of your relationship. By saying he wants space, he's trying to keep you around. He still wants you to hang on while he 'figures things out', which means that he doesn't want you going anywhere just yet.
Your boyfriend is probably not an astronaut. He doesn't need space. What he does need however, is a swift kick in the ass to make him realize that he stands to lose you. By going along with his request and granting him some time alone, you're giving your boyfriend the license to do whatever he wants. This is a mistake that could cost you your relationship, and any chance at winning him back.
Instead of agreeing to his terms, it's always better to take a more offensive stance. Check out all the different reversal techniques you can use flip this situation around and have your boyfriend wanting to spend more time with you instead of less.
Your Boyfriend Wants A Break... What Should You Do?
When your boyfriend wants to take a break from your relationship, it's a more serious version of "I need my space". In this case, he may already have someone else lined up. If not, he's got an idea of what he wants to do... and who he might want to pursue. In order to move forward, he needs the freedom of being single again.
At the same time though, he doesn't want you to be single. Asking for a break instead of a breakup is his way of keeping you around. He's making things vague and obscure for a reason: to buy himself some time. While on the break, your boyfriend will determine whether or not he wants to keep your relationship going, or start a new one with someone else.
Agreeing to take a break is always your worst move, yet it's what most women do in this situation. You might believe that by granting him his request, you're keeping your boyfriend happy. You might also think that in time, he'll miss you enough to come running back into your arms. Just like in the movies.
In real life? This type of scenario almost always ends in a break up. Giving your boyfriend this much latitude with your relationship will inevitably lead to him taking more. He might date or see other girls, and then rationalize it by saying "Well, it was okay because we were on a break". Some guys even use the break as a temporary pass to go out and mess around with someone else.
If you don't want to be taken advantage of in such a way, you need to know exactly how to handle this situation. Your first move? Telling him no. Either you stay together or you break up - don't ever agree to some lame, mysterious middle-ground. Don't allow yourself to be demoted to the role of pseudo-girlfriend while your newly free exboyfriend begins playing the field for a while.
By forcing your boyfriend to make a choice between keeping you or losing you completely, you're letting him know you won't play any of these stupid 'on a break' games with your relationship. This will cause him to think long and hard before walking away.
And if it's too late and you're already on a break? There are some excellent reinsertion techniques that will bring him right back to your side. Learn what these are, and use them when they're needed.
He Broke Up With You... But Wants To Stay Friends
It's the most common misconception perpetuated after the break up: that you can actually 'stay friends' with an ex after the break up. Not only is this little arrangement completely impossible, but remaining one of your ex boyfriend's platonic contacts can actually destroy any chance you have of ever dating him again.
When you're in love with someone, you develop some very powerful feelings toward them. Deep emotional bonds are formed that will always be around, whenever you lay eyes on this person or even think about them. Just because your boyfriend breaks up with you doesn't mean these bonds go away. You can't brush them aside in lieu of friendship... but then again, neither can he.
An ex who asks to be friends after ending your romance is really looking to keep his foot in the door. Once again, your boyfriend doesn't want to lose you to someone else until he's determined that he really wants to stay broken up. Asking you to stick around in a friendship type role is his own selfish way of keeping you within arm's reach. And if you're foolish enough to agree to such an arrangement, you'll quickly fall into that role for good.
Winning your boyfriend back while still friends with him is not possible. You need to get out of the friend zone and back into a role where he starts seeing you as a girlfriend again, and not just as a girl friend.
A lot more on what to do when your ex wants to be friends is already discussed here.
Also check out 7 Instant Adjustments that will make your ex notice you again.
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- Understanding Exactly Why Your Boyfriend Really Broke Up With You
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- Getting Past Friendship - Winning Your Boyfriend Back When He Says He Wants To Be Friends
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