Winning Your Boyfriend Back

I Want My Boyfriend Back... But He Isn't Talking To Me

After any breakup, communication is one of the hardest things to figure out. Is it okay to call your ex boyfriend? What should you say to him? Knowing when and how to make contact is a critical part of winning your boyfriend back.

The biggest obstacle in trying to get your boyfriend back is always the same: yourself. When a breakup first happens, most people - both men and women - are always in a tremendous hurry to get things fixed. Instead of sitting back, calming down, and contemplating their next move, these people are out making huge mistakes that can hurt their chances of ever getting back together with an ex.

One thing you should understand very quickly is the need to RELAX. Your ex boyfriend isn't going anywhere. Unless he's already seeing another girl on the side, your ex is going to take some time off before getting his new single life in order. He's looking for some time alone, and maybe even some breathing room.

Allowing your ex some time off from you is one of the best things you can do following a breakup. By allowing him time to process what just happened, your ex will begin reconciling what his life will soon be like without you in it. He'll also start to miss you, and this is a crucial aspect of getting him back. Once your boyfriend starts missing your company he'll start needing the relationship, and you're already halfway home.

Don't Rush - Overnight Fixes Are Not The Answer

By slowing down and taking things day by day, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed by the fact that your boyfriend broke up with you. Try to look ahead and envision getting back together, instead of focusing on what you'll miss about him. Don't concentrate on how your life will change now that he's gone... instead, try to take things hour by hour. Remind yourself that you'll be working to get back together with your ex boyfriend, and that the process might take some time.

Getting out and doing something is some of the best medicine right now. It really doesn't matter what you do, as long as it gets your mind off thinking about your ex boyfriend. Will you call him? Email him? Text-message your boyfriend again? Sure you will, but not at the moment. Knowing that you'll one day be back in his arms should really help take the edge off the fact that you're not in his arms right now.

Both of You Need Some Time To Cool Off - So Use It Wisely

Any time two people break up, there's a cooling off period. Sometimes, very heated things get said... even things that one or both of you don't really mean. Consistent bickering and fighting can also lead to the end of a long-term relationship, because over time, each of you builds resentment for the other. This bitterness that you harbor might not feel like much right now, but that's only because you're thinking about getting back together again. Once you and your ex make up? Those same old problems are bound to resurface.

Recapturing That Original Magic - Making Him Want You

As an exercise, try to think back to the day you first met your ex boyfriend. Now think about those first few days, or even weeks together. Remember how nice you were to him? How gentle and loving he was toward you? Over the course of your relationship, those behaviors probably changed. As time wore on, you took each other a lot more for granted. Don't feel bad about that either, because it happens to all of us - even in the best and longest of relationships.

The point here is this: getting that initial magic back is a great big part of the reconciliation process. When you and your ex respect each other again, you're more likely to get along. And when you can use just the right reconnection techniques to remind him of when he first met you? The sparks from that alone will drive him to reconsider being with you again.

Niceness breeds niceness... complementary behavior leads to stronger emotional bonds and better adjustment to each other's lives. Remembering how things were in the beginning of your relationship can help you recreate that feeling of loving your boyfriend unconditionally... and from there? Him loving you the same way.

Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Call Or Contact You

One of the biggest tricks to ex boyfriend contact involve creating an atmosphere in which he needs to know what you're doing. When your ex is always aware of you, he already knows what you're up to. This is why disappearing from his life, as hard as it might be for you, is a crucial part of getting your boyfriend back.

Believe it or not, this isn't what your boyfriend wants. He'd much rather distance himself from you emotionally, while still physically knowing where you are. Any guy who breaks up with a girlfriend wants to move on before she does. By keeping tabs on exactly what you're doing and who you're hanging out with, your ex boyfriend has no incentive to call you up. He already knows a lot about your post-breakup life.

And if your boyfriend gets a sense that you really want him back? That makes him even more comfortable. A guy who knows you're still sweating him will feel socially invincible. Any doubts he might have about losing you are completely erased. Knowing he can get you back any time he wants enables your ex to go out, see other people, and do new things without you. The more you show your boyfriend how much you care, the longer you actually prolong the breakup.

Getting your boyfriend to call you involves one big thing: mystery. When he doesn't know where you are, your ex boyfriend will fear the worst. He'll think you found someone new, or someone new found you. His mind will begin drawing up scenarios in which you no longer need him, especially since you haven't called or written or text-messaged him since the breakup.

In a very short amount of time, your ex boyfriend will start looking around for you. Maybe he'll do it himself, or maybe he'll ask friends to start putting feelers out. Either way, that phone call you're waiting for is not far off... if you can be strong, withdraw, and eliminate all contact with your ex immediately after the breakup.

You can also use these techniques to accelerate the process of getting him to call.

Regaining Your Ex's Attention... Without Saying A Word

If you're tired of trying to unsuccessfully reopen the lines of communication between you and your ex boyfriend, it's probably because you've been going about things all wrong. The more you've chased after him, the further away you've pushed your ex in the opposite direction - probably without even knowing it.

Many women look for reasons to call or contact an ex. Maybe you left some stuff over his house. Maybe you ran into someone you both know, and thought a friendly phone call would be an innocent way to get back in touch. The truth of the matter however, is that you're reaching. You're grasping for straws, and looking for any little way back into your exboyfriend's life again. This behavior is counterproductive to getting him back.

To win back an ex boyfriend, you need to get him to chase you. Imagine a dog running loose: the faster you run after it, the more it bolts away. But if you turn around and start moving in your own direction... the dog starts chasing you. In no time at all, you're running alongside it instead of after it. Not that your boyfriend is a dog or anything, but you should get the analogy.

Find out what other things you can do to Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You. The more knowledge you gain right now about fixing your relationship, the better the chances of getting your ex to want you back.

And for ideas on how to accelerate the process of winning him back, check out this list of things you can do to Win Your Ex Back Fast.