He breaks up with you, breaks it off with you. And... he wants to be FRIENDS?

Sounds weird, right? But actually it's the most common of all breakup scenarios. After sharing a relationship, a sex life, and thouands of very intimate moments together, over the phone, through text messages... it's almost impossible to completely let go these days. And it's for exactly these reasons that your boyfriend might suggest staying friends with you, even after he initiates a breakup.

Let's be friends

But do you WANT to be friends? Or are you really looking for something more?

That's the biggest question to ask yourself, and you'll need to be honest about it. Because if you're staying "friends" or even friendly with an exboyfriend on the off-chance it'll lead to getting back together, you're making the single biggest mistake when it comes to reversing a breakup.

Yes, that's right. Being friends with an ex won't bring you ANY closer. In fact, it's much more likely to push you away. Why? Because your boyfriend is getting virtually everything he needs from you - as a friend - in order to keep the breakup going. In other words, the more of a friend you become, the less of a *girlfriend* you'll ever be.

Getting a boyfriend to want you back is not all that difficult, especially if you know exactly which emotional hot buttons to push. If you're willing to push those buttons, you can re-create the honeymoon stage of your relationship. Bring it all the way back to the beginning, when everything was GOLDEN.

Reconnecting on those original, first-fall-in-love levels is crucial to getting a guy to fall in love with you all over again. But being "friends" with him? That doesn't even come close to recreating those original feelings.

"There's no Reason we Still Can't be Friends!"

Sounds so innocent, right? As if you can just fall back into the playful, flirtatious banter you had when you first started talking to him. As if you'd be able to carry on everyday conversations. As if you'd be able to talk about things in his life, knowing full well you can't ever share them, because you're not a part of his life anymore.

As if you could EVER talk to your ex about his dating life... about the new girl he likes, loves, or thinks is so attractive he'd rather date HER than YOU.

No, unfortunately the 'I can be friends with my ex' thing is a total myth. Could it ever work? Sure, maybe... for a few days or weeks. But eventually, jealousy will destroy whatever friendship the two of you might've forged together. And trust me, it's not going to be much of a friendship to begin with. Because if you're still harboring feelings for an exboyfriend? It's going to be a whole bunch of you nodding you head and listening as he goes on with your life, while your heart hurts deep in your chest because you can't share those things with him anymore.

What to Do if Your Ex Wants to Be Friends With You

First things first: are you willing to give the relationship another try? If that's your goal, then let's continue. If not, well, it really doesn't matter if you drift apart in the end anyway.

Be HONEST. Did your boyfriend break things off when you'd rather stay together? If so, you'll need to make him want and need you again wayyyyyy before he'll ever think about rekindling the romance. If you're friends with him, he's got no reason to want or need you... he already HAS you. And if you're friends with benefits? He's got even less of an incentive to hand you back the official badge of being his girlfriend.

Look, it's not all bad news though. The fact that an exboyfriend would ask to remain friends is actually a good sign. It means "hey, I'm still kinda interested." It means "hey, don't go anywhere just yet... because in my mind, I'm not 100% sure of the decision to break up."

These kinds of doubts are exactly what you want. There are ways to put even more of these doubts into your ex boyfriend's head, even when it seems he's over you.

These very sneaky withdrawal techniques are designed to move you all the way to the forefront of your ex boyfriend's mind, putting you back in his head even before he even realizes why he keeps thinking of you.

Responding to an Ex who Wants to be Friends with You

So, what do you tell an ex who wants to be friends? Nothing. You don't tell him anything at all. Let him stand there, let him wonder. Let him try to understand why you're not answering him, and what it means.

Remember, the first thing to do after someone rejects you is easy: implement counter-rejection. I'm not saying you should go off on him or get angry (that's actually one of the worst things you can do). What I am saying is that if someone decides to cut you out of their life, the next best thing you can do is NEVER LET THEM KNOW IT BOTHERS YOU.

One of the worst things in life is regret. To get your boyfriend back, you'll need to put him in a position where he regrets breaking up with you.

This sounds hard, but it's actually kind of easy. One thing you have going for you is that you no longer need to answer to him. Watching an ex girlfriend completely dissapear off your radar is a little disheartening; it means she's got an active social life that goes BEYOND your old relationship. It makes the boyfriend who just dumped you say "wow, she's not even calling me. She's not even texting me. Maybe she never even needed me to begin with."

This is the initial stage of getting him interested again. What follows from there is he'll start asking about you. Talking to friends, trying to find out where it is you went and what it is you're doing. Maybe he'll even wonder if you have someone else. Things things are all good.

The absolute WORST thing you can do is the opposite of this. By making yourself too available, he's got a constant eye on you. By calling or texting him as a "friend", he knows you're not going anywhere anytime soon, which means he can stay single - or even keep looking for a new girlfriend - for as long as he wants.

In time, he'll feel more and more comfortable in not being with you (girlfriend-wise), and he'll have an incentive to move on. The longer you keep yourself within his realm of vision, the harder it will be to ever make him see you as a girlfriend again.

One of the masters of manipulating an ex's feelings is a man named T-Dub, author of The Magic of Making Up. His 'clean-slate' technique is a groundbreaking, step-by-step program that puts the both of you back in that honeymoon stage where everything was awesome.

Magic Making Up

This instantly-downloadable book is a detailed, step by step blueprint to getting your ex back, from start to finish.

Even if your boyfriend seems to have moved on, and things seem hopeless, Magic shows you exactly what to do. Within you'll learn instant ways of reversing your current breakup, even you haven't spoken to your ex in a while and need to reestablish a connection.

Be sure to check out T-Dub's Free Opening Moves Video, which shows you the very first moves you should make before you do anything else.


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