Ex Boyfriend Contact - How To Handle Communication
One big prerequisite of winning your boyfriend back is that you eventually re-establish communication. Yet at the same time, handling such post-breakup contact can be one of the trickest parts of fixing your broken relationship.
Right after the break up, most women rush too quickly to regain contact. Some of them will even call an ex within hours of the breakup. Chasing your ex like this isn't just a bad idea, it's also very detrimental to any future communication you might have with him. Getting your ex back requires that you be able to reconnect at some point, and this is made very difficult if you screw things up early.
Knowing exactly when and how to contact your ex boyfriend is just as important as knowing what you're going to say. You need to leave him alone long enough for your ex to miss you, but not long enough that he meets someone else. Somewhere within that small window of opportunity is just the right time for you to make contact. Learning precisely when that is can be a critical part of turning him around and getting him interested in seeing you again.
Immediately After The Breakup - No Contact At All
It's the most difficult thing in the world: not calling your ex after he breaks up with you. No matter how amicably (or badly) the breakup went, you're going to feel a strong urge to dial your exboyfriend's numbers and start talking to him again. You'll start thinking of things you forgot to say, or you'll rationalize reasons you need to get in touch with him. But in all of these cases, the real reason you're calling is because you miss him and want him back.
Try to understand something: your ex misses you too. And he's going to continue to miss you for as long as you leave him alone. Constantly calling him, emailing him, or even sending him text-messages is only going to make your ex annoyed with you. Right now he feels weird and strange around you, because he just dumped a girl who still likes him. You need to leave him alone for a while, and allow him some breathing room.
The problem here is that you'll feel as if your boyfriend is slipping away. The no contact thing is unnatural - especially considering how often you talked to each other during the relationship. You'll start thinking your ex doesn't care, or that he's acting strange, or that maybe he's involved with someone else. But all of these mental images are created by loneliness, coupled with your mind playing tricks on you.
Removing Yourself From Your Ex Boyfriend's Life
Let's say you have a dog, and you see him every day. When you go out, do you miss him? Probably not so much. But now imagine leaving your dog at a friend's house, and not having seen him for two weeks. Do you miss him now? More than ever.
By the same principal, your ex cannot miss you if you're always around. You might think that by staying within sight and reach you're making it easier for your boyfriend to get back together with you. But in fact, you're actually making that scenario much less likely. When your ex sees or hears from you all the time, he actually thinks about you less.
This is why the no contact rule works. By disappearing from your boyfriend's world, you suddenly become something he thinks about again. "I wonder where she is? What she's doing? Who she's with?" - These are thoughts that will flash through his mind, when your ex hasn't heard from you in a while. In time, your boyfriend will miss you, and this is a big step in the right direction.
When you take yourself out of your ex's life, make sure you do it completely. No, you can't email him. Text-messages do count, no matter how short and innocent they might seem. You can't do any of those things if you want to win your boyfriend back quickly. The more contact you make right now, the longer you're prolonging the break.
Knowing When To Call Your Ex or Reconnect
Eventually, after a period of silence, one of two things will happen. The first scenario is the ideal situation: your ex boyfriend calls you. If you're strong enough to break contact completely, there's a very good chance this will happen. Be sure to learn exactly how to handle first contact with your ex, as it's an extremely important aspect of getting back together with him.
In the second scenario, you haven't yet received a response. You've withdrawn completely, but you're still waiting for some sign that he's still interested. If you haven't heard from your boyfriend yet, that's okay. Some men are slower to come around than others, and there are also guys who are outright stubborn when it comes to initiating contact. In cases like this, you'll need to know when and how to get back in touch with your ex.
Best Methods For Contacting Your Ex Boyfriend
Obviously, the best method for exboyfriend contact is to get your ex to call you. When that's not an option, there are some simple things you can do to get back in touch. You'll want to make sure you've waited long enough that your ex boyfriend is missing you in his life again. You should've also given the no-contact approach a solid chance to work.
Reaching out to your ex is fairly easy to do, but you need to go slowly. You also need to approach that first contact with innocent intentions. Your goal should be to get in touch, get back on his mind, and then get off the phone as quickly as possible. And the best way to do that is to give the impression that you're very, very busy.
Calling your ex boyfriend is best done in the evening, when his day is winding down. This is when he'll be most likely to have a moment to talk, and you'll be less likely to be interrupted. Eveningtime is also when most people feel at their loneliest, and your ex may be even be laying around thinking about your past relationship. This is just one reason why timing is crucial.
What To Say To Your Ex Boyfriend
When your ex picks up the phone, he might be very happy to hear from you. If you've gone a while without communicating with him, he probably will be. Since you haven't contacted your exboyfriend in several weeks, his defenses won't be up either. He'll simply be interested in why you called.
Reasons for dialing your exboyfriend can be many. Did something good happen to him while you were apart? Call to congratulate your ex on his promotion, or graduation, or anything positive in his life. Did something good happen to you? It's okay to call and tell him about it, especially if it was something you may have been working on during your past relationship. Sharing successes is always a bonding experience, and you and your exboyfriend already have a past history together.
How about his family? Were you close to them while you were dating? You could be calling to see how a sick relative is doing, or to ask how his sister is getting along in her first year at college. These are all thoughtful reasons to be calling your ex, and he'll appreciate that on some level. On other levels, he'll also know you're calling because you miss him... and that's okay. At this point, he probably misses you too.
The biggest rule to follow when talking to your ex for the first time is to keep the conversation short. You want to make that connection, and then get off the phone as quickly as possible. Ideally, your ex should feel like he didn't really get to talk to you. When this happens, he'll want more.
The second rule is to let your ex boyfriend do most of the talking. Ask what he's been up to, but don't be interrogational about it. Ask how he's doing, how work is going, etc... Then tell him a few things you've been up to as well, before ending the call.
To get off the phone, tell him you've got to run. Apologize for only being able to talk for a short time, and then let him know you're running out the door to do something. Be vague, but not too mysterious or he'll know something's up. Then, before hanging up, tell him "Sorry this was so short. This week's kinda shot, but give me a call next week, and we can talk more. Cool?"
In doing this, you're actually making it okay for your ex to call you back. He's going to want to call you too, if for no other reason than to ask what you've been up to. The fact that you made it next week instead of this one conveys that you're not desperate to talk to him again. It also makes your ex wonder where you're going.
What To Do If Your Ex Still Isn't Responding To Contact
Sometimes, even contacting your ex won't seem to work. If this is the case, there's no need to panic. You will however, need to start applying immediate reversal techniques geared toward changing his current mindset.
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And for additional information on the no-contact approach to getting back together, be sure to read up on ways to Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You.
- Handling The Break Up - Opening Moves For Getting Your Ex Back
- Getting Your Boyfriend To Miss You Quickly and Need You Back Again
- Accelerating Your Reconciliation: Easy Things You Can Do To Get Your Ex Back Fast
- Does He Still Love Me? How To Know What Your Ex Boyfriend Is Feeling
- Understanding Exactly Why Your Boyfriend Really Broke Up With You
- How To Win Your Boyfriend Back When He's Dating Someone Else
- Getting Past Friendship - Winning Your Boyfriend Back When He Says He Wants To Be Friends
- How To Fix Your Break Up When Your Boyfriend Caught You Cheating
- 7 Instant Adjustments That Will Make Your Boyfriend Want You Back
- I Want My Ex Back But He Won't Talk To Me - Quick Reconnection Methods
- Best Ways To Contact Your Ex Boyfriend After The Break Up
- Using Jealousy To Get Your Boyfriend Back - Making Him Want You
- Getting Your Ex Back FAST - Breakup Tips You Can Start Using Today
- Is it Okay to Call to Wish Your Exboyfriend a Happy Birthday?
- How to Get Back an Ex Boyfriend When He's Not Responding To You
- The Good News About Being Friends With Your Ex Boyfriend
- Getting Your Boyfriend Back - Single Greatest Move You Can Make
- Getting Him Back With These 10 Golden Rules
- 500 of the World's Best Kept Sexual Secrets
- 300 Creative Dates For Winning Your Guy Back
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