Winning Your Boyfriend Back

The Good News About Staying Friends With Your Ex

Whenever your boyfriend breaks up with you but asks to remain friends, it's both a blessing and a curse. On one hand you get to keep seeing him, talking to him, and staying in his life. But on the other, you feel rejected and left out of the romantic side of things, and will feel extremely jealous when he shows interest in someone else. Still there's also good news about being friends with your ex boyfriend, especially if you want him back.

It's the age old question: can you be friends with someone you once dated? There are several angles here, depending upon what your motives are.

If you're the one who ended things, staying friends will be a whole lot easier for you. Emotionally you won't be as attached as him, and it will be easier for you to let go of the relationship and move onto something else.

Be prepared though, because he'll probably want to get back together with you. He wasn't ready to break up, and you can't expect him to just leave his feelings at the door and strip away all of his emotions until nothing but platonic friendship remains.

Similarly, if you were the one who got dumped, your ex boyfriend can't expect the same of you. Wanting your boyfriend back is a natural reaction, especially if you thought the relationship was going well. Getting back into your boyfriend's arms is possible, but not if you allow yourself to become his friend. Trying to rekindle your romance while pretending to be friends with your ex will always lead to awkwardness and confusion.

Staying Friends With an Ex When You Still Have Feelings

So can you be friends with your ex? The short answer is no. Not if you still love and want him. There are too many things going against you: jealousy, resentment, and feelings of rejection. He doesn't feel or see these things, but to you they'll be plain as day. And when your exboyfriend meets someone else? You're going to wish you never agreed to be friends with him. Because now you'll get a very unwanted up close look as he dates other girls and then tells you about them... all while you pretend to be happy for him as a good friend should.

But there's also good news about being friends with your ex boyfriend. It stems from the way he broke up with you, and how he treated you afterward. Because by not walking away... and by trying to still keep you around in a friendship type capacity... your ex is not completely over you yet.

Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Isn't Over You Yet

There are signs that your ex boyfriend still loves you, and you should recognize what they are. Calling you, emailing you, hanging out with you... these are not the actions of someone who's done with your relationship. A guy who's completely finished with a girl will always walk away, because it's more comfortable not to talk to you at all. But keeping you around, staying friendly with you, and even seeing you from time to time? These are all signs and signals that your ex wants you back.

Now does he want you back right now? Probably not. He's enjoying being "available" for the time being, and may start pursing other interests. This is where you need to take immediate action, and not just sit back and watch things unfold from a friendship standpoint.

Your next step is to make your ex boyfriend miss you. And you accomplish this by refusing to be friends with him, and walking away when he asks for that contact.

Think about it. If you're providing your ex with friendship, companionship, and just about everything he already had while he was dating you, your exboyfriend has no incentive to get back together again. He'll never even think of taking you back romantically because he's getting everything but the physical closeness you once had (and some ex girlfriends even give that up too...) but without any burden of responsibility that comes with a long-term relationship.

He gets to see you, but not have to call you. He gets to hang out with you, but not have to explain where he was the previous night. It's the most comfortable scenario for him: one where he knows he can get you back with the snap of his fingers, but is legally allowed to play the field while you sit on the bench.

For you, it's a bad situation. Being friends with your ex boyfriend inhibits any forward progress you'd make toward getting your ex back. So by walking away, you're taking all of those comforts away from him and putting him in a position where he doesn't know where you are.

Breaking Things Off So You Can Get Back Together

Don't call your ex, email him, text-message him - you need to break all contact. By doing this, your ex starts to think the worst: that you no longer need him. As the days go by and you haven't called or seen him at all, your exboyfriend will even start to think that maybe you found someone else. This will shake him up enough to try and call you, and start taking steps in your direction. And from there, you've just made your first moves toward winning back your boyfriend.

Never try to substitute friendship for an actual relationship, thinking it will help you get your ex back. Being friends is never the answer. If you want your exboyfriend back, you need to work toward that one specific goal.

Put together a step by step plan of action, and stick to it. Because the path that leads into his arms again definitely does not lead through friendship.

The Magic of Making Up is an amazing guidebook to breakup reconciliation.

It's geared toward ANYONE going through an unwanted breakup, and offers a complete 'get your ex back' blueprint from start to finish.

Even in the case where getting back together seems hopeless, Magic shows you exactly what to do. It's author, infamous relationship guru T.W. Jackson, takes you by the hand and guides you every step of the way along the path to halting and reversing your current breakup, even in the case where you and your ex no longer have any contact (or haven't spoken to each other for a while).

Be sure to check out the Free Opening Moves Video, which shows you the first thing you need to do after your boyfriend breaks up with you.