Winning Your Boyfriend Back

7 Instant Adjustments That Will Make Him Want You Again

Getting a guy to want you back is no different than getting him to want you in the first place. Whatever you did to attract your ex boyfriend initially? It's most likely going to work again.

One of the biggest reasons people drift apart is that the relationship changes dramatically over the course of the relationship. The ways you acted around each other when you first started dating are probably very different from the ways you treated each other by the time you broke up.

Winning your boyfriend back requires that you recreate some of the magic of your initial courtship. When you can spark up those old flames that made your ex so attracted to you, he'll once again start looking at you as a potential girlfriend. Not only that, but offering up the "old" you is also likely to create nostalgia in your exboyfriend's mind. This will take him back to great times and better places in your romance, back when the two of you were not only getting along but just couldn't wait to be with each other.

Taking Your Relationship Back To Its Roots

Even though you're currently not together, you need to prepare yourself for when you do begin communicating with your ex again. Putting yourself in the proper mindset for a successful reunion can go a long way toward getting your boyfriend back.

Here's a little exercise: close your eyes, and try to envision your relationship as it was during the first two weeks you dated. Even if that was fairly long ago, try to remember all the little details that made you so excited to see your boyfriend - and him excited to see you.

Don't just remember the places you went and the things you did (although those are important too), try to recall the emotions and feelings that went through your body each time you saw him. How did you talk to him back then? Was it loving and sweet? Did you overlook any imperfections or otherwise annoying habits in lieu of falling in love? This is very common among new couples. When your romance is still in the honeymoon stages, people tend to concentrate on the good instead of the bad.

Now think about the end of your relationship, right before your boyfriend broke up with you. Push past all the fighting and arguing, and try to concentrate on the way you treated each other. Chances are good there was a lot less margin for error here. Little things your ex boyfriend did probably set you off, and vice versa. Over time, you may have forgotten to respect and love one another unconditionally, the way you did at the beginning of the romance. These things can all contribute to a break up.

Bringing yourself back to the origins of your relationship - both mentally and emotionally - can really help put you on track for reconciliation. When you can align yourself with those old feelings, you'll put off all good vibes. The next time you see or talk to your ex, he's going to feel these vibes coming from you. They'll help lower his defenses and bring him back to a much sweeter, more innocent time with you. This sets the stage... it kicks up those old emotional bonds your boyfriend always had - and still has - for you.

Keep in mind there are other, even faster ways of using your ex's buried emotions to reverse your break up. By applying these techniques, you can get your ex thinking about the better aspects of the past history you shared with him, accelerating the process of getting back together.

Quick Things You Can Do To Win Your Boyfriend Back

During a break up, you've only got control over half the equation: yourself. Therefore, you need to really concentrate on doing everything possible to make getting back together an attractive option for your ex. Adjusting your own behaviors and attitude is a critical part of making your boyfriend want you again.

While you should never fundamentally change the person you are, there are adjustments you can make that will help get him to notice and see you in a positive light. Below are 7 ways to influence your ex after the break up:

It's a fact: men generally like women who are independant. While there will always be guys who like to 'take care' of their women, that eventually puts a strain on the romance. Having a woman who takes care of herself is a huge turn on.

When you've got your own life, friends, hobbies, and so forth, you're bringing a lot more to the relationship. Your boyfriend doesn't have to concentrate so much on keeping you happy because you have all of these outside influences that already do so. From a guy's standpoint, an independant woman is just a lot more exciting and fun to be around. The relationship will always have more a shine to it than if your girlfriend constantly relies on you to come up with things to do and places to go.

You like a guy who's sure of himself, right? One who's confident in what he's doing? Well men like that too. A woman who's not always questioning every move she makes is a hell of a lot more attractive than one who is.

Displaying confidence in yourself, especially after the break up, can really turn your ex boyfriend's focus back to you. When your ex realizes that you're moving forward in a very self-assured manner, he'll start respecting you as having a life of your own.

Try to imagine things from a guy's perspective: In our world, being decisive always beats being unsure or tentative. We respect this trait in other men, and we respect it just as much in women, too.

This is a big one. It sounds easy, yet so many women fall into a state of perpetual exhaustion or misery over the course of a relationship. And this isn't limited only to women, either - men do it too. In fact, you'll see couples who've been dating way too long - neither one of them happy - both of them hanging in there anyway, for lack of anything better to do.

Love should be exciting and fun. Yes, even after you've been dating for years. If you can appreciate your boyfriend and do those little things that make him happy, he's going to return that happiness right back to you.

If your boyfriend ended things, it could be for a very simple reason: he didn't feel like he made you happy anymore. Even the most outwardly tough guys all have the same deep-seeded need to keep their women happy. When you're sad, down, depressed, or even just plain old 'fine', your man will often wonder what he's doing wrong. He'll start feeling inadequate because he can't make you smile anymore, and this will lead to problems. As he becomes unhappy with the situation, it begins to affect you again. From there, it just keeps snowballing.

It's a rock-solid rule:  Guys will NEVER leave a girl who's happy.

Nothing damages a relationship more than fighting over the little things. Nitpicking over small, insignificant things will seem like nagging, and will eventually lead to resentment. Usually it also breeds the same thing for both parties - soon each of you will be looking for any little reason to be angry at the other, instead of actually enjoying your relationship.

If your boyfriend cited constant fighting as one of the reasons he broke up with you, he probably has residual bitterness that is bottling up true feelings for you. Learn how these methods can draw out your ex boyfriend's buried feelings and emotions, reminding him of the good times you shared and why he fell in love with you.

Everyone has fears and doubts - even your boyfriend. But when you're vocalizing your insecurities on a daily basis, they can become a real drain on your relationship. Constantly seeking reassurance for every minute aspect of your life can cause your man to look down upon you as someone who's needy and weak.

Just as you value you strength and determination in a man, he's going to seek those same qualities in you. It's okay to seek help and guidance from this person that you love - a good boyfriend should always be there for you. Just be sure to do it when you need it, and not abuse his attentions by throwing yourself into his arms several times a day.

If you work toward being more stable and well-adjusted, you're going to attract men who will admire you for it. A girl who can't keep a boyfriend for more than a few weeks is usually guilty of being outwardly and overly insecure.

Drama. It's a total relationship killer. Any time you and your boyfriend resort to fighting, screaming, cellphone-snapping drama, you're chipping away at the very foundation of your relationship.

When it comes to dating someone, guys all want pretty much the same thing. We want a girl who's attractive, intelligent, and above all else, fun to be around. Drama is definitely NOT fun. It creates high-tension situations in which we're usually overwhelmed, and as we seek to escape the drama it only gets worse.

Try to picture the worst fights you've had with your ex. How did those fights start? Was it over a topic really worth battling for, or did it start over something silly and stupid? Also look at how those fights ended. Did your boyfriend try to change the subject but you wouldn't let him? Did you keep the fight going long after he wanted to end it, and maybe hound him for hours afterward?

Many women are guilty of taking certain situations a little too far. So are men of course, and that's equally uncool. If you can both strive to identify and halt those scenarios before they boil over, you can really reduce the stress in your relationship.

If you ask men their single biggest turnoff when it comes to dating, most of them will say the same thing: a woman who likes to play games. What's funny is that this type of behavior is glorified and perpetuated by many modern day sitcoms, creating a very "men vs. women" mentality when it comes to male and female relationships.

Sure, it might be funny to watch people fight on TV. It's hilarious when someone has to sleep in the garage because they forgot an anniversary or didn't score enough 'points' for sex. But these types of games don't go over well in real life... probably because real life people are faced with real life problems.

At the end of the day, no one wants to fight. If you find yourself looking for a reason to be angry, then your relationship may have reached the point where you thrive on negativity more than on love itself. This can happen - on both sides of the romance. Millions of couples everywhere are stuck in joyless, dead-end relationships... their only happiness derived from being 'right' and proving the other person wrong about all kinds of trivial little things.

Putting your relationship above all that game-playing will always help in getting your ex back. Men always appreciate a woman who wants to love them rather than do battle with them. Be that girl, and you'll always make your man happy.

Also learn how this bonding secret can be used to put yourself back on your exboyfriend's mind, regardless of how long it's been since you broke up.